Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Closet Cleansing Orientation

Closet cleanses should be undertaken somberly and consistently. As a new season is budding, as a new life calling is dawning, as you find yourself glazing over at the threshold of your wardrobe's abyss, all of these indicate optimal conditions for a purging.

Below are specifics to ensure a safe, successful procedure:

1. Dedicate a large portion of ante meridian to it, mornings with the blinds drawn provide ample natural light, but if you must use post meridian, ensure you have sharp, clean, distributed lighting. Either way, find a thicket of uninterrupted hours.

Although closet cleanings can be done in intervals, an uninterrupted push actually aids your ability to purge. First seeing all the clothes in one day allows you to quickly rank the best and worst. Second, seeing all your clothes in a single day may induce a little emotional nausea. Hopefully this disgust is stronger than any emotional attachment, allowing you to purge what is poisoning your closet.


2. As this is a somewhat intense procedure, let's do what we can to make it as lovely as possible. Wash and style your hair, but leave off the makeup. That way it won't induce unnecessary dry cleaning and you'll be able to see how different chromatics affect your complexion. Finally slip your best dainties, including any shapers that you regularly wear, under some loungers.

Once you're ready, prepare your environment. Allow the melodies of a dewy fresh anthem to twinkle around you. Fix yourself a refreshing tonic: sparkling water, ginger lemonade, minted honeydew juice. Personally I prefer listening to Madeleine Peyroux with a dainty cup of herbal egyptian licorice.


3. While you pour your beverage, fill a second glass, because you'll need a friend. Not that really nice friend who praises everything you do. No, we want the chronically honest friend, the teenage daughter, or the opinionated mother. Spouses can be good with the honesty, but they lack patience. And occasionally the process can result in temporary marital malaise. If friends are not readily available, make sure you have, at the least, a full length mirror positioned adjacent to your closet, capable of capturing anterior, profile, and posterior views.

4. Make a list of all the roles in your life: mrs. mother, madame wife, dr. professional, and how you would ideally like to feel in each of these roles. When I enter my workplace, I want everyone to assume I spellcheck my e-mails. Or I want my children to perceive that my household is not the kind of place where clearing your nose on the furniture is proper. Or I want to feel pretty enough for passé civilities like opened doors, extracted chairs, gloves, and handkerchiefs.

5. Get five bins, trashbags, or wheelbarrows, tomorrow we will show live footage of the actual dissection, analysis, and cleansing of a closet.



Still overwhelmed? Reserve a 90 minute one-on-one session to review your entire closet. Items will be evaluated based on color compatibility, fit, flattery, and condition. By the end of the session you will have a wearable wardrobe plus a shopping list for key items to purchase. During this session suggestions will also be made on how to mix and match existing pieces to break away from clothing “uniforms” and get more wear through creative ensemble pairings.

Monday, January 5, 2009

More Better Video


All the Fitting Room Friday videos are now available in higher resolution, with easy to follow steps, easier to hear sound, they are overall more better ;). Check out their improved newness using the Fitting Room Friday label.

Cleaning Your Closet


2009: A freshy, new year, time for an exceptionally good start. All commendable propensities will be integrated into new life and all bad habits will be properly discarded with grace and ease. Before persuing perfection in the rest of your existence, might I recommend starting with your closet? For "what is your closet but the different personas we have auditioned and discarded? Hanging there in our closets are reminders, both good and bad, of who we are, who we've been, and who we've hoped to be." Tim Gunn

Clothes are in fact only a shell, but shells are not entirely worthless. Shells can introduce us, identify us, and protect us. This week we shall focus on our shell storage and how it can be organized and optimized. However, before we can pursue the solution, let us address the problem. Below are some stereotypical closets which require immediate intervention.

The torture chamber: Inside this ambry lies items endowed with the powers of self flagellation and holy glorification. Items are distinguished primarily by size: smallish, mediumish, and largish. If the body is enrobed in smallish clothes with minimal wrestling, the day is deemed good and the wearer is deemed good. Her closet exists to punish and reward her.

The archive: Inside this cold storage lies a rich, tangible history. The frock worn when eyes were first laid on Romeo hangs next to her cheerleader's glory guise, her wedding ensemble is pressed beside the blouse donned during the debut of her most favorite episode of Gilmore Girls. Her closet is sentimental rather than functional.

The rubbish bin: This rumpled receptacle vomits when opened. In the refuse there may be well-made trousers in need of hemming, scuffed leather boots, a favorite silk shell stained with soy sauce, a cashmere sweater dined on by moths. This closet lacks discipline and sanitation.

The disjointed den
:
Trends from all different directions exist here. There are many items lying dormant and disturbed, brooding with the irritation of their unremoved price tags. Sometimes this disorder is caused by a simple split personality: work is straight forward and boring, personal life is over the top to make up for the difference. Whatever the cause, this schizophrenic wardrobe is unable to communicate a cohesive outfit.

The repeat: This sideboard encloses one style of twin set in five different colors, the only visible pattern is vertical stripes, and the floor is veiled with a colony of sensible black shoes. This area acts as a mechanical uniform dispenser.

Whether you wardrobe represents one or many of these examples, we will be purging them, psychological dispositions and all. In the end you'll have a wardrobe you can actually wear.


Still overwhelmed? Reserve a 90 minute one-on-one session to review your entire closet. Items will be evaluated based on color compatibility, fit, flattery, and condition. By the end of the session you will have a wearable wardrobe plus a shopping list for key items to purchase. During this session suggestions will also be made on how to mix and match existing pieces to break away from clothing “uniforms” and get more wear through creative ensemble pairings.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Fitting Room Friday: Countup to Formalwear



Happy New Year. It isn't actually Friday, but in honor of the first day of 2009, please enjoy this special edition. And consider how spectacular you are going to look next New Year's Eve.

Roll out the crimson carpet. Special you is going to a special event: a wedding, a gala to protect inner city garden gnomes, the premier of your personal made for TV movie. Your handshake is firm, your step is jaunty, but what my lovely friend will you use to robe your intimacies? Come and we will count up the formality spectrum, examining the prim & propriety of formalwear.

Dress to the Sevens
- You've never dipped below a five in your existence. (Except maybe right after they extracted your wisdom teeth and you couldn't help from dribbling masticated debris while powering White Snake monster ballads.) Therefore, it really isn't unreasonable to rise to a fully, fabulous seven on a daily basis. Beauty and confidence should not be reserved for special occasions. Your clothing should fit and flatter diurnally.

Dress to the Eights - Cocktail

There is a dimension beyond Sunday Best, preceding Black Tie. It is the middle ground between casual and formal. It lies between the pit of social faux pas and the summit of elegance and grace. It is an area which we call the Cocktail Zone.* What was once considered merely a little black dress has now expanded into a diverse habitat for abbreviated dresses and smart separates. One can reach the Cocktail Zone through the artful application of accessories and a tendency towards dapper. Many a social invitation (weddings, fundraisers, work festivities) speaks openly of this fashion Brigadoon, but below is live footage of the illusive locale.



A rundown of Jill's suiting follows:



All the jewerly in Jill's ensemble was crafted by her own skilled phalanges, as a stand-in for her one-of-a-kind creations, might I suggest the quixotic Six Wing Hoops & Autumn Everlasting Necklace

The Looking Back Cardigan punctuates both your entrance and exit while keeping you cozy and covered. Pray believe us, there is nothing worse than seeing your great auntie's decolage. Modesty keeps everyone comfortable.Buttonblossom Dress inky elegance transcends into a smoky scattering of abstract floral. For evening events keep your garb dark perchance even sparkly; daytime gives place for lighter hues and heavier fabric weight. The length and sheen of this selection abides evening tradition, but a special occasion is certainly not an invitation to abandon your signature style. Skip the pretentious uniform, and dress to your own personal prime.
La Regale Satin Pleated Bow Clutch because the prettiest frocks rarely have pockets.

Jumbled Crochet Tights & Steve Madden Imperial Ruffled T-Strap are prepared to curtsey, swagger, and fox trot. While bare legs and stilletos may trump this option on the sultry continuum, a thicker heel triumphs in versatility.

Dress to the Nines - Black Tie
Should the illustriousisses betrothe you the opportunity to take vestment to the nines, canter in without abandon. Adopt diamonds, fur, opera gloves should it suits you. Allow the rest of your circle to live vicariously through your glamorous exploits.

Below is a special bonus Fitting Room Friday. This clip showcases the bleeding edge of formalwear.




Unfortunately, Jason's Jump Suit is an original vintage piece that dares not be replicated.

1 hundred 98 cents = your own mix & match fashion look book cheat sheet.


Procure your own empire constitution. Your personalized fashion look book includes your own mix and match rules of conduct and much more.



*I personally do not drink cocktails**, but I like this name much better than semi-formal, which is a drab, frumpy term.

**Okay, there was that one time with the unlabeled punch bowl when I was really thirsty. But beyond those three mistaken ounces, true abstinenence.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Fitting Room Friday: Mix & Match



Happy Boxing Day. In honor of all the new pretties procured during the preceding winter holidays, please partake in the pursuing primer on mixing and matching.

Uniforms have a delightfully useful purpose. Identifying the person who delivers your mail, changes your bed pan, or brings you nourishment. Avoiding confusion between these services with a simple visual identification can only be called crucial. However, some things in life should not be oversimplified. You, for example: a many-tricked pony, incapable of being tamed by a single definition. It is reprehensible for you to wear the same blouse with the same trousers every time you retrieve them from your closet.

Let your wardrobe crossbreed. Have you seen what happens when cousins take a liking to each other? Allow some diversity into your ensembles and breed a prosperous wardrobe. Mixing & matching allows you to have a vast set of outfitting options without requiring an Imelda Marcos wardrobe scope. In essence, mixing and matching is a money saver, dispensing a new outfit rush without draining a dime for the fix. For debt, my lovelies, is never attractive.





Beginning Mix & Matching
: Use Color as an Accent
Pair a muted neutral trouser with a vibrant color that suits your complexion. Or take a solid dress and pair it with a dramatically hued shoe.
Matching is not a prerequisite. And layering during reduced temperatures is both practical and pretty.



Intermediate Mix & Matching: Yes Paula, Opposites do Attract
A story without conflict is boring. We don't necessarily want an outfit villain, but maybe just an outfit trouble maker. Someone in your ensemble that induces interest.
Create some chromatic conflict by pairing one color with it's opposite or complement on the color wheel. Or dramatize a demure solid with a shameless pattern.



Advanced Mix & Matching: Or how not to look like Carmen Miranda
Despite what people who aren't right like me will say, you can weave multiple patterns into a single ensemble. The trick is choosing lead motifs and supporting ornamentation. Prima Donnas are singular. Keep all your patterns in the same color family for further sophistication. The more colors you introduce, the greater chance you have of looking like a chiquita banana advertisement.

Below is an ensemble example of the mix & match principles.


Whirliwig Cowlneck: The draping neckline on this buttery soft, solid peacock knit is prefect for peeking out under a cardigan or jumper. (It also tucks into a skirt beautifully)

Autumn Song Hoodie: Colorful, embroidered buds around your finger keepers give you a wealth of outfitting possibilities.

Level 99 Chloe Rinse: Dark denim goes with everything. They provide proverbial white space in your ensemble art. While extending your leg line far past its normal parameters.
Kenneth Cole Reaction Party Bell-a Mary Jane
They don't match, they go. They're a complimentary color to the green above and they reminisce the embroidered buds on the sweater.


Coupling the high waisted Skythed Lawns Skirts with a tucked-in Whirligig Cowlneck uses the principle of opposite, complementary colors: pairing persian green with poppy pink.

Layering the multi-hued Autumn Song Hoodie over the solid Familiar Places Dress provides yet another outfitting possibility.


1 hundred 98 cents = your own mix & match fashion look book cheat sheet.


Procure your own empire constitution. Your personalized fashion look book includes your own mix and match rules of conduct and much more.


Monday, December 22, 2008

Upper Figured Body Type

Certain sisters find being compared to a fruit demeaning. Divulging a fear of being conceived as an object to be consumed. I just want to say straight out, "I do not endorse cannibalism." Personally as a vegetarian, I refrain from eating birds, reptiles, and mammals (that includes humans). I choose to use the metaphor of fruit for body shape because I desire all to enjoy the unique flavor of their shape.

Take the Upper Figured woman with a
bust/waist ratio greater than 1.25 and a waist/hip quotient greater than .75. Your figure implies strength and stamina with a ripe, robust topper above and slim, slender supports below. If you were to gain 5 lbs, 2 of them would go to the girl on the right, 2 to the girl on the left, and the remaining pound would settle in your back.

We may have heard you complaining of the burden of your bosom. Buttons and button holes seem to be laced with reverse magnets and the fabric pull across your back and shoulders may make you feel not only angry, but hulk angry.

Calm yourself Dr. Banner, and exploit the super powers of your body shape. You can accomplish fashion feats that no other body shape can, ie wearing a top that extends past the hip. While most of us look like we have a plump puppy struggling to be released from behind a long cardigan, your coat hanger shoulders and slim hips allow for the fabric to glide elegantly and effortlessly from upper to lower sectors. And because you have legline to spare you can accessorize your ankles with boots, straps and footless leggings.

To keep your shape under control, avoid amplifying what is already evident. Nothing about your top half is shy. Keep their language clean, understated, and enunciated. Avoid applying large prints, bright colors, and fussy details over your perfectly fitting bra.(If you haven't gotten a fitting in the last two years, you do not have a perfectly fitting bra. Make remedies post haste.) Next apply bold colors, big patterns, and special particulars on your lower figure. Avoid overly skinny, straight styles. You are not a precariously positioned ice cream scoop on a cone. Use a bootcut, full skirt, or other appropriate volume on your lower half to imitate the hourglass. Your master goal is to support and control your voluptuous top half while building curves around your dainty bottom half. Your goal is balanced, fashion zen. Follow the illustrated outffiting below.

The crochet of the Stitch Play Sweatercoat cozies around your curves. The portrait collar envelopes the twins and draws attention back up to the face. And while there's enough embellishment to make it special, we don't feel like we're decorating. The lantern sleeve starting at 3/4 length adds volume and attention to the southern quadrant.



The powerful hue of the AG Angel Cords wrestles the visual focus down. The bootcut flare highlights your slim thighs without creating the figure fiasco of tremendously heavy top balanced on a comparatively frail, tiny bottom. And speaking of bottom, the strategically placed smaller pockets on the seat will round your flatter vistas.

Get those gams out there with the Steve Madden Elivate Ankle Boot. Its high skinny heel is the perfect end to your delicate get away wheels.

Respect your crop:


1 hundred 98 cents = your own upper figured fashion look book cheat sheet.




Procure your own empire constitution. Your personalized
fashion look book includes your own upper figure rules of conduct and much more.


Dry your tears or under your arms as appropriate. We have a solution to your diminishing holiday shopping hours. Return with haste for a holiday edition mix and match.


Friday, December 19, 2008

Fitting Room Friday: Hourglass Body Type


The Hourglass body shape may be likened to the illusive unicorn. Sure everyone agrees a horse looks way better with a single spike protruding from the forehead, but horned horses are significantly more difficult to find. With a waist/hip and waist/bust ratio less than .75; and hip and bust measurements within 2 inches of each other; your magical proportions are becoming a human rarity. There was a time when society was littered with the likes of Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch, and Lynda Carter. But today, the skill of uniformly applying weight to every inch of the body represents a shrinking percentage.

You my lovelies are Barbie's mentor. Pre-pubescent girls imagine the day when they too will have a shapely bust, curvy hips, and an infinitesimal waist. But as most fairy tales go, there's some things that were omitted. Like your short waist and the scarcity of apparel that shares your proportions. Alas, you were not born a clothes hanger. To get every button on a blouse to close without pulling, it is sure to billow around your torso. And to find trousers that comfortably shelter both your thighs and seat, the waist band consistently gaps. There is however a happy ending for your mythical curves.

First you must, must, must wear clothing that clasps. You are of a divine design whereas your clothing was contrived by an insecure novice struggling to survive in an overpriced city. Find a tailor and fit the clothes to your body. You do not need to reduce, your clothes need to be revised.

And now the main event: actual fitting room footage. I had to measure dozens of figures before I found Ms. Jackson's proportions. Click below to enjoy:


Generous recognition to Blissful Living Studio for letting us walk their runway, and Kierland Commons Anthropologie for providing the finest of frockery.

But wait there's more, below are some additional highlights from the hourglass collection:



Remember Me Surplice: Belts are like duct tape for an hourglass figure, a wardrobe panacea. Take the predicament of a blouse. With this wrapping ribbon, your bodice is visible without making a vulgar view of your bust.


Joe's Visionniare: Bootcut to balance the width of the hip with a curved yoke and midrise that actually embraces the narrowness of your waist.


Flowers & Thyme Dress: We are all sold out of corduroy costume which Leslie featured, but in it's sunset a fresh dress has dawned. No buttons or overly fussy embellishments, just a perfect match for your va, va, voom. Your equilateral top and bottom diameters are beautifully enfolded while a wide red waistband commands attention to your axis. Take advantage of your ability to wear the same size on top and bottom; single piece outfits stretch your waist in one continuous line.

Adrienne Button Boot: Stillhettos may be too delicate for the generous turns of your figure. Instead try this antique styled boot by Frye. Anyone who finds me these boots in a size 6 for approximately $200, wins a free styling session and probably a hug, maybe even a kiss on the cheek.


Make everyone jealous:




1 hundred 98 cents = your own hourglass fashion look book cheat sheet.


Procure your own empire constitution. Your personalized fashion look book includes your own hourglass figure rules of conduct and much more.


Upper Figures, you have not been forgotten. Meet me at Cardigan Empire anon.

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