Naughty List: Furry

While Santa can swing dressing in fur from his head to his foot, the pelted trend has released several impractical applications of fuzzy wuzzies.

Examples follow below:

For chilly ankles & heels

Or nippy knees

And of course, cold, hard cash

Acceptable Alternatives:

Moderately applied in areas of critical incandescence

An accessory with a credibly fleecy benefit

Let Cardigan Empire bedeck you for the holidays.  Gift yourself or a dear one a Fashion Package: combining a theoretical look book & a practical virtual shopping session

Naughty List: Jumpsuits & Rompers

Christmas fashion improprieties continue with yet another fashion trend that should be left to persons without a full set of permanent teeth.  

Today we sentence the adult onesie with just two critical counts:

1. This fashion is entirely dysfunctional.  Without the convenience of a diaper, a onesie defeats expeditious elimination.
2. What is adorable on a cherubic, pre-pubescent body, becomes utterly deplorable once anatomical personals and eccentricities have grown in.

Below are a few examples:

One can applaud the functional addition of a front zipper, but must proceed to ask what will be kept in the pockets

The semi-sheer back view is even more unfortunate as it includes a hood and no trap door

Toddler couture in size 25T for just over $150

Acceptable (but not necessarily applaudable) Alternatives:

A more modest cut mimics a blouse and high-waisted trousers, however, I'm not sure you wouldn't appreciate the functionality and versatility of a separate blouse and trouser even more

A little short for my taste, but at least it doesn't cling to every imaginable feature

Let Cardigan Empire bedeck you for the holidays.  Gift yourself or a dear one a Fashion Package: combining a theoretical look book & a practical virtual shopping session

Fashion Apologies

A Swim Series Interruption

To the injured patrons of the Payson, Arizona Del Taco

When you were attempting to enjoy your supreme nacho cheese fries yesterday afternoon at approximately 4:32 pm, your meal was rudely interrupted.  My family and I were journeying home from a weekend in the mountains, when 19 ounces of Powerade and personal needs required the benefits of a public restroom.  

Unfortunately, a thorough round of inadequately dried laundry left me with only pajamas as a travel ensemble.  While I had attempted to layer a tank under the slightly transparent top.  The pajama bottoms were unmistakeably soiled with regurgitated remains of Coco's bottle.

Beyond floral elastic waistband pants in the afternoon, my husband had packed away all my shoes at the bottom of the suitcase and suggested I wear his running shoes for my entry into the public domain.  Normally I don't even wear my own running shoes off the athletic track, let alone oversized, men's slighlty sweaties.

In summary, my appearance may have ruined your meal and nauseated your appetite.  If you would be so kind as so send me your name and mailing address, I'd be happy offer you a macho taco voucher.

Shamefully yours,

Reachel

Detestable Fashion: Labels

 Wearing a label is fashion prostitution. Your body (bust or bottom) is not billboard.  Your signature style is a unique statement that cannot be couched in a single, shallow brand. 

If an item of clothing is truly worth the cloth its sewn from, it should stand on its own, sans stylized signature from the designer.  You should be the defining mark on any ensemble.  Clothes exist to enhance personal charm and charisma, not to initiate one into a supercilious status group.  

Below I've collected labels from days gone by as well as days passing now, from fashion's mass market to upper echelons:

Do you think labels reinforce personal brands or distract from them?  Add your voice in the comments.

Detestable Fashion: Excessive Skin Solution

Tools & tips to combat the Excessive Skin Epidemic:

Shy Arms

Part I

Part II

Decolletage

Part I

Part II

Legs

Part I

Part II

Detestable Fashion: Excessive Skin

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society" – Mark Twain 

I apologize in advance, but this post may not be appropriate for younglings or skin sensitive audiences.

Yes Miss Britney is finishing it off with Ugg boots.  

I am a crusading member in the effort to protect against excessive exploitation of skin.  

Female bodies are beautiful: the lines of their limbs, the forms of their torsos. It's a decadent delight that should be enjoyed in tiny, delicate mouthfuls: the allure of an ankle, the curve of a neck, an exposed wrist.

However, some choose to take the entire pastry and shove it into the greater public's mouths to be consumed in one binge-filled bite.  Examples follow:

It looks like this enviably strong backside is snacking on a pair of too dainty shorts.  This swatch of fabric can not stand up to the grandeur of flesh beneath them.  The wearer and watcher would be much better satisfied by a tasteful pencil skirt.

A 360 degree budoir check could have saved this star from paparazzi sniggering.  Raise your arms, bend over, crouch down and check for delicate skin leakage from every angle.

I don't think I'd feel comfortable seeing this ensemble at the gym.  First, leggings are not pants.  Have you seen anyone walking around with a top and stockings lately?  Second, bare midriffs are not for public consumption, not at the office, not at the grocery store, if you have to, find a beach.  

If you too would like to join with women against excessive skin exploitation, leave your support in the comments.

Detestable Fashion Series

It's coming.