Beauty-Full Tuesday: Any 2nd Now

Passion is beautiful.  Different is beautiful. Cyrillynn of Any Second Now is beautiful. 

When I see beauty there's no doubt

I’m one of the devout…

“Sacred” 

Depeche Mode

Before kindergarten, I know that my mom fancied me to be somewhat of a "doll".  She dressed me up in frilly dresses and I remember seeing pictures of myself in cute little stylish outfits with coordinating purses and shoes.  I don’t remember those times, but it looked like it was fun. 

Somewhere along the way in elementary school, I think I lost the meaning of "beauty".  I was suddenly aware my appearance because someone said to me, "Wow, you have a big nose and huge lips!"  I felt too skinny, that my facial features were imperfect, and I felt awkward for my body. 

When I left elementary school, I discovered the importance and beauty of music.  I had taken piano lessons for much of my childhood, but began to appreciate sounds, melodies, notes, lyrics and harmonies.  I was a teen in the 80’s so I had found what I had been missing, which was a voice for all of my innermost thoughts and all my intimate details.  

After I found muse, it was then I started to carve my own path.  I stopped worrying about what people thought or said and I wanted to make a statement.  I decided all the “flaws" that people had picked apart in my childhood were what made me unique.  I started to meet people who found beauty in the same things that I did.

As I approached my twenties and thirties, I felt more beautiful than I had ever felt before.  I took pride in what I had and appreciated the beauty of the total person I was and had become.  Not only had I discovered early on that music was important, I had also discovered another outlet, which was fashion.  I could express myself and be different.  In fashion, it was what was expected.

Although my father’s passing in my mid-thirties left an empty space, I realize that it is a part of life.  My father had always taught me to appreciate everything, so as I enter my forties, I still find beauty in fashion and music, but also in art, places, friends, and family.  It was when I had accepted myself totally that someone else could see what I’ve always felt inside.  I married him, and now we have a beautiful son, and we are teaching him to love all that life has to offer.

I feel beautiful because I accept myself for everything that I am, and celebrate it in the things that I find beautiful.