I absolutely and entirely adore this woman. She is strong, smart, and so beautiful. And she's even put together a kit for perfectionists (I think she's doing it just for me). Meet Carrie Hensley of Inside the Bungalow.
As a perpetual people pleaser, I have spent most of my life molding myself into what I thought everyone wanted me to be. Reflecting back, I realize how much energy was spent trying to achieve perfection, invisibility, fitting in, shutting down, measuring up, measuring down. As a perfectionist, one tends to focus solely on what’s wrong, missing countless opportunities to celebrate what’s right. Through yoga and mindfulness, I have learned to embrace the gifts and talents that are unique to me.
One method, in particular, called R.A.I.N has been instrumental in releasing my deeply rooted perfectionist tendencies & self-criticism. Rain is an acronym for:
Recognize
Allow
Investigate inner experience with Intimate attention
Non-identification
The first step of R.A.I.N is to Recognize when you have been triggered/hooked: Can you recognize when you become irritated, annoyed, stressed, busy?
The second step of R.A.I.N is to allow your emotions: Okay, I’m irritated, annoyed. Don’t try to change, control, judge…Just pause and allow.
The third step in R.A.I.N is to Investigate your inner experience with Intimate attention: Tightness in chest, heat in back, clenching jaw, jumping out of skin…Dig deeper…Can you put an emotion to it?...Anger, sadness, alone...The second I is getting intimate with it. Can you snuggle up to the anger, sadness, truly allow yourself to experience it? For me, I learned as I sat with the sadness and anger of being a perfectionist, underlying was a feeling of unworthiness.
As we do this, we begin to experience the N in R.A.I.N. Non-identification. We start to see that we are not our emotions, beliefs or thoughts. They are impermanent. They come and go.
The second step of R.A.I.N is to allow your emotions: Okay, I’m irritated, annoyed. Don’t try to change, control, judge…Just pause and allow.
The third step in R.A.I.N is to Investigate your inner experience with Intimate attention: Tightness in chest, heat in back, clenching jaw, jumping out of skin…Dig deeper…Can you put an emotion to it?...Anger, sadness, alone...The second I is getting intimate with it. Can you snuggle up to the anger, sadness, truly allow yourself to experience it? For me, I learned as I sat with the sadness and anger of being a perfectionist, underlying was a feeling of unworthiness.
As we do this, we begin to experience the N in R.A.I.N. Non-identification. We start to see that we are not our emotions, beliefs or thoughts. They are impermanent. They come and go.
As I sat with the anger, feelings of unworthiness, an amazing gift occurred...they lessened their hold on me. I began to see that I am more than my emotions, thoughts, and beliefs. Each of us is worthy to wake up to the beauty and awe that exists within.
