I absolutely and entirely adore this woman. She is strong, smart, and so beautiful. And she's even put together a kit for perfectionists (I think she's doing it just for me). Meet Carrie Hensley of Inside the Bungalow.
As a perpetual people pleaser, I have spent most of my life molding myself into what I thought everyone wanted me to be. Reflecting back, I realize how much energy was spent trying to achieve perfection, invisibility, fitting in, shutting down, measuring up, measuring down. As a perfectionist, one tends to focus solely on what’s wrong, missing countless opportunities to celebrate what’s right. Through yoga and mindfulness, I have learned to embrace the gifts and talents that are unique to me.
One method, in particular, called R.A.I.N has been instrumental in releasing my deeply rooted perfectionist tendencies & self-criticism. Rain is an acronym for:
Recognize
Allow
Investigate inner experience with Intimate attention
Non-identification
The first step of R.A.I.N is to Recognize when you have been triggered/hooked: Can you recognize when you become irritated, annoyed, stressed, busy?
The second step of R.A.I.N is to allow your emotions: Okay, I’m irritated, annoyed. Don’t try to change, control, judge…Just pause and allow.
The third step in R.A.I.N is to Investigate your inner experience with Intimate attention: Tightness in chest, heat in back, clenching jaw, jumping out of skin…Dig deeper…Can you put an emotion to it?...Anger, sadness, alone...The second I is getting intimate with it. Can you snuggle up to the anger, sadness, truly allow yourself to experience it? For me, I learned as I sat with the sadness and anger of being a perfectionist, underlying was a feeling of unworthiness.
As we do this, we begin to experience the N in R.A.I.N. Non-identification. We start to see that we are not our emotions, beliefs or thoughts. They are impermanent. They come and go.
The second step of R.A.I.N is to allow your emotions: Okay, I’m irritated, annoyed. Don’t try to change, control, judge…Just pause and allow.
The third step in R.A.I.N is to Investigate your inner experience with Intimate attention: Tightness in chest, heat in back, clenching jaw, jumping out of skin…Dig deeper…Can you put an emotion to it?...Anger, sadness, alone...The second I is getting intimate with it. Can you snuggle up to the anger, sadness, truly allow yourself to experience it? For me, I learned as I sat with the sadness and anger of being a perfectionist, underlying was a feeling of unworthiness.
As we do this, we begin to experience the N in R.A.I.N. Non-identification. We start to see that we are not our emotions, beliefs or thoughts. They are impermanent. They come and go.
As I sat with the anger, feelings of unworthiness, an amazing gift occurred...they lessened their hold on me. I began to see that I am more than my emotions, thoughts, and beliefs. Each of us is worthy to wake up to the beauty and awe that exists within.
Reachel, I feel the same way about you!!! You are one of my absolutely favorite women, inside and out!
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you for this post! This was exactly what I needed.
ReplyDeleteWhat I great post! :) The RAIN concept is really good - I'm going to have to use that. Starting now. I find that my pilates practice helps me to wind down at night. Unfortunately, I always seem to focus on the *one* negative thing that happened to me during a day and let it ruin the entire day.
ReplyDeleteI needed to hear this, so thanks! :)
carrie is one of the women I admire most in this world. I don't see enough of her anymore! I love what you are doing carrie! You are amazing!
ReplyDeletexoxo
What a beautiful post to carry with me this week (and hopefully longer)! This is a practice we can all benefit from, truly.
ReplyDeleteI have only had the good fortune to meet Carrie a couple of times, but I *love* Inside the Bungalow and everyone I have met there! It's a beautiful place, a beautiful vision built by beautiful people.
What an interesting look at the word RAIN. Love the concept.
ReplyDeleteMiranda & Mysterious M, I'm so glad it's helpful! It's a great tool to get us out of our heads and into the present moment. Beth, I miss and adore you beyond words!! So glad we have you near in the video @The wizzle:) Natalie, I hope it works.
ReplyDelete