How to Measure your Bra Size

Another annual measure of Valentines Day has been archived. I trust that you overindulged in coquettish baby dolls and tenacious corsets if that pacified your preference.

But now it is time to tissue our holiday dainties, in favor of a sincerely supportive breed of lingerie. Some do not have a penchant for their underlings. Leaving what they believe to be an entirely private relationship to stain, stretch, and literally decompose on their body

My dear ones, these are your intimates. They cradle you at your most vulnerable sectors. Although only a diminutive division will view them directly, all can perceive the effect of this relationship. The foundation of fashion must be approached earnestly and accurately.

Here's the beastly truth: there is an 80% chance that you're wearing the wrong bra size. Your band is likely too big and/or your cup size is presumably too small. Even if you were wearing the right bra size last Valentines day, weight shifts, pregnancy, nursing, and age may have transformed your needs.

At this point, I must endorse measuring. (And if you haven't measured your body type yet, proceed while you're disrobed and in possession of soft measuring tape)

1. Preparation
Don your best fitting, unpadded bra. Minimizers and sports bras are not proper candidates. This bra should nest your lady eggs approximately half way between your shoulder and elbow. If possible find a confidential friend (mother, sister, daughter, husband, levelheaded lingerie associate) to assist you.


2. Band Size
Exhale all the air from your lungs and measure carefully around your ribcage, directly under your bust (too high and it will be too big, too low and it will be too small). This measurement should be taken as small as possible, with the tape parallel to the floor.

Take this number and round up or down to the nearest whole "even" inch (i/e divisible by 2).

Example: 33 3/8", round up to 34.

3. Cup Size
Standing straight, with your arms at your side, wrap the circumference of the fullest part of your bust while keeping the tape measure parallel with the floor.

The tape measure should be just touching, not binding. If one of your mademoiselles is significantly larger, pad the smaller counterpart to make it even before taking your measurement.

Round up or down to the nearest inch. Then subtract your band size measurement from this second measurement. The difference can be translated using the chart below to a cup size.

Example: 42" - 34" = 7" -> G Cup Size.

 But wait... this is not the final determinate of our lady eggs.  Thank WWII ideals and marketing, but bra manufacturers conceived of the idea of adding inches to the actual measurement so the resulting measurement would be closer to the artificial ideal (36-24-36).  Therefore, all our bras are mis-sized to stroke our lady egg egos.  Luckily, there is an easy way to translate your real bra size into vanity-sized bras.   

34 G = (Hop 1) 36 F = (Hop 2) 38 DD = (Hop 3) 36 D

These sizes are equivalent to each other.  As your band size increases, the cup size also increases which is why we diminish the cup size with each translation to keep the proportions appropriate.  Generally a hop of three points is easy to find and comfortable to wear.

Ta-da: band size, cup size, abracada...bra size. True, it is only a starting point, but stay with us. the magic continues this week as we diagnose the right intimate for your unique intimates. 

And remember when you try on the bra, try it on by snapping together the widest set hook and eyes.  This will ensure that you will have room to make your bra smaller as your bra stretches with time.